JH Lillevik

Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them
– Bruce Lee

I have been meditating and thinking about this piece for about two weeks now. It has been churning through my head and causing me to look differently at how I think about other people and the effect their behavior has on me.

Those that know me, know that I am fairly self-conscious about my own behavior and I am terrified of people thinking ill of me. This probably stems back to me being a bit of a loner as a kid and once I had friends I would hold on to them for dear life. So I rarely blame others for the predicaments that I can get into.

But I have done it. I do think that pointing fingers is something that we all do as humans as it is very hard to look at one self as the culprit in a certain situation. This also leads into the subject of forgiveness. If you do not except your role in what mess you might be in, then it might become really hard to forgive others.

Now this does not mean that everything that might happen to you is your own fault. There are plenty of situation where you are just a victim of circumstance and are not at fault. But if you at least assume responsibility for how you deal with the situation then it is easier to forgive the people who may have wronged you.

There is another thing about forgiveness that has great benefits for you as a person. You put things behind you and you move on with your life. In that way you do not allow bitterness to build up to the point that you cannot focus on what you really want to do, like in my case writing. You can become stuck in that state for years and believe that this event or these people define you.

By forgiving you regain your power, you tell them that their behavior had an effect on you, but that this effect will not hinder your progress as a person.

Now personally I have found that the person hardest to forgive, is myself. As stated above, I blame myself more than I blame others. The problem about forgiving yourself is that you need admit that you are not perfect and that you have made mistakes, but that you have learned from those mistakes. This is very hard for me to do as I believe that my behavior is the only one I can control and that I should have known better in certain situations.

I am getting better at this and I think that one day I might be able to forgive myself and realize that no one is perfect.